I often wonder if other people experience getting older like I have. There was this gradual awakening that took place sometime in my late 20’s early 30’s. I began to realize that some of my habits, decisions, truisms, and beliefs were not serving me or the life I wanted to live. Most notably, eating like a high school swimmer wasn’t working when I was a 30 year old. I thought that I could eat and drink whatever I wanted because I was running 50-60 miles per week. In addition, my weight, bloodwork, and various health markers were signaling that my lifestyle was not . . . shall we say. . . aligned with a long and healthy life. If you are following the many podcasters and influencers, I’m not alone in experiencing this awakening.
So, about ten years ago, I made a lot of changes and tried a lot of new things. I self experimented like Tim Ferris. Within a few years, I discovered a few things that have made a big impact on my energy levels, weight, and overall how i feel. Here’s five things that have endured to become core parts of my life via habits.
- Don’t drink your calories. This habit ranks number one in terms of bang for the buck. Easy to adopt, big impact. I gave up sodas, sports drinks, and just about anything that is sweetened. All I drink now is either water (homemade Topo Chico), coffee (black). or unsweet iced tea. On rare occasion, I will have a cocktail or glass of wine, but those are treats and enjoyed very sparingly. When viewed through an evolutionary lens, I don’t think our livers were designed for high sugar sodas. Overwhelming our bodies with a massive glucose infusion leads to rapid spikes in the insulin response that when repeated over time leads to metabolic dysfunction. I think the sports drink and sodas are one of the major reasons that most humans today are overweight and metabolically challenged compared to a few generations ago.
This single change helped me stabilize my weight. I also cut out diet sodas. I haven’t checked the science on diet coke, but i was drinking 4-5 per day and cut that to zero. Within a few weeks, I felt a lot better and lost 12 pounds. - Exercise Everyday. I was very fortunate in having been raised as an athlete. Nearly everyday of my life until I graduated from college included at least an hour or two of structured exercise in the form of swimming or strength training. Like many former swimmers, when I left college, I struggled to maintain fitness without a structured environment. All that remained was my appetite. I had the mindset then that exercise was a luxury in my day (reinforced by my bosses and other forces in my life). Exercise was not a necessity and thus could be displaced by additional work or extended periods on the couch. So for most of my early 20s, I didn’t make exercise a habit. By the time I was 27, my weight had ticked up to 230 pounds. Looking at myself in the mirror combined with how I felt, this trend was not sustainable nor effective. Despite having more time to work and play, I was not happy nor performing well.
I had to find something I enjoyed, was effective, and was time efficient. What made this habit stick was that I made my workout the most important hour of my day and everything else came second. So I tried running as it was very accessible and ticked the other boxes. In the beginning, I did not like running at all, it took a very long time to adapt to the sport. But after six months or so, I progressed to an hour of running daily and the rest of my schedule molded around it. Today, my daily workout and run is what keeps me mentally balanced and something I look forward. - Get good sleep. I’m a night owl by nature, it’s my most creative time of day. Unfortunately, the world I live in requires me to be up in the morning, usually before sunrise. When you’re 20, you can get by on 4-5 hours per night. At 38, less so. For most of our 30’s we had little kids, long hours, and demanding jobs. By the time our second son was two, coffee and years of terrible sleep transitioned me into a morning person.
Today, I focus on getting in bed by 9:30 so that I get 7-8 hours. Getting good sleep is such a blessing and I am grateful morning that the decade of deprivation is over. In terms of hygiene, we do not have a TV in the bedroom and we keep the lights dimmed after dinner. A nice mattress and crisp, clean sheets help too. Don’t be afraid to invest in good sleep, Over time, I started feeling much better everyday and found it easier to fall asleep. Now I naturally wake up at 6 am and look forward to my coffee.
I do wear a sleep tracker, but I don’t think it’s necessary. It helped me build a routine and provided some feedback (avoid late meals, alcohol, consistent bed times), but you can achieve most of the tracker’s benefits without having one. - Cook your own meals. Everyone needs to learn how to cook. Nothing says you’re an adult more than the ability to gather ingredients and prepare a home cooked meal. It’s not that difficult and you get at least one, sometimes two or three times per day to practice. We used to eat out a lot. When we weren’t doing takeout, we ate pasta or other ready to cook meals. This was not only expensive, it wasn’t very healthy. As I started experimenting with nutrition, I learned about cooking using produce and raw ingredients. I learned how to properly and quickly cut an onion. I learned about the value of a great knife for cooking.
There were many failures along the way, but within a few months I had a dozen goto meals that I could put together in 45 minutes or less. NYTimes has a great app with plenty of healthy quick meals. Eventually, I found the art of preparing dinner and cooking a nice ritual to end my day while spending time with my family in the kitchen. Also, my gas range is my favorite kitchen appliance. It brings me joy every time I cook with it. - Spend time talking to a friend everyday. This might be the most important part of my routine. We are social creatures and we need to be around other human beings. I am an introvert, left to my own schedule, I would prefer to be on my own all day long. Worse, as one gets into adulthood, it becomes much more difficult to make friends as we’re mostly surrounded by co-workers. Work relationships require more effort to become friends than most of us realize, plus many people like to keep a distance between work and personal life. I have switched jobs a fair amount over my career and I find it interesting which colleagues stay friends and which ones fade away.
I used to rely on social media to keep up with friends, but over time i found that activity lacking in depth like empty calories. So I made it a habit to text or call a friend everyday just to say hello and that I thought of them. Sounds corny, but it worked. Nearly everyone wrote back and called to chat. Many of them evolved into coffee meetings or regular walks outside where we shared stories and thoughts. This single change has become one of the most rewarding things I have added to my life. I am so grateful for the time and friendship. I can’t recommend this habit enough.
All five of these habits were things that I did not plan on making part of my daily rituals. Each one was an adaptation to an adult life. All of them took deliberate practice for weeks before they became part of my life. Then within a few months, they became foundations that gave me energy, strength and joy to my life.
