“You’ve held a lot of diverse roles and responsibilities. What exactly are you looking for now?” a recent recruiter asked me in regards to my job search.

“Something like a fourth marriage.” I replied.

My snarky response to the recruiter came from a conversation many years ago when I began to learn about relationships, desires, and life.

I was maybe twelve or thirteen. Not yet old enough to have endured heartbreak or even my first kiss. Despite my youth, I had some awareness as to the meaning of marriage. . . or enough to know that people in love get married.

At a friend’s house during a sleep over, I learned that his dad had been married four times. I had never heard of such a thing, My curiosity exceeded my manners and I approached him directly, “Sir, why have you been married four times?”

“Because the first three didn’t take.” He wasn’t offended by the question, in fact he smiled as he spoke.

“Huh, I can see why people marry and why they divorce. But why four times?” I was sure there was more to this.

“No one has ever asked me that, not even my wife. Well, looking back it’s simple.”

“I married my first wife for passion. In those days, we were young and crazy for each other. Sadly, passion is important but alone it can not sustain a relationship nor does it pay the bills.”

“I married my second wife for money. She was smart, disciplined, and ambitious. She brought structure to my life. But we lacked empathy for one another. No deep connection. Before long we devolved to roommates sharing space between work hours.”

“I married my third wife for youth. She had a sense of adventure and spirit. She was popular, fun, and had boundless energy. Every night there was somewhere to be, a party to go to, a gala to attend, people to see. Before long, I couldn’t keep up.” He sighed. A look of resignation crossed his face.

“Now I’m old and tired. I learned that the most important thing in life is how you spend your time.”

“I married my current wife because she’s who I most want to be with.” His smile brightened as his thoughts turned to his lovely bride.

Well, I told the recruiter that I just want to serve in an organization where I’m surrounded by people I respect, can learn from, share knowledge with, but mostly, I want to be with people I enjoy spending time with.